Think about how getting in shape might affect your partner’s attraction to you, or your stamina in the bedroom. Think about how starting a mindfulness practice could affect your ability to stay calm during tense conversations with your partner.
The truth is that most of us work extremely hard to put our best foot forward at the beginning of our relationships, but we tend to lose steam as time goes on. But this year can be the year that you transform yourself back into the person your partner fell in love with.
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Honor weekly date night…
Date night is one of the best ways to keep the passion alive in a relationship.
So many couples try to do weekly date night, but it ends up being the first thing on the chopping block when your schedules get busy.
This year, make date night the top priority in your calendar. Resolve not to cancel or reschedule unless absolutely necessary.
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…But do new things together
You’ve done dinner and a movie a million times. It’s fun, but it gets boring.
Resolve to try a new activity together once a month. Try cooking classes, dance classes, exercise, hikes, or museums. Doing new things together allows you to see each other in a new light.
It increases your respect for and appreciation of each other, and brings more passion, excitement, and adventure into your relationship.
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Say ‘thank you’ more often
This is an extremely simple tip that can have a shockingly big effect on your relationship.
Take the time to thank your partner for all the things he or she does for you and your relationship. Let them know that you recognize their efforts.
You don’t have to go overboard; a simple “thank you for doing that” will do. You’ll feel more grateful, your partner will feel more seen, and you’ll both feel much closer.
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Prioritize quality time
Here’s another simple but effective tip: Prioritize spending quality time together as early in the day as you possibly can.
Most couples wait until the end of the night to think about quality time or intimacy, but the average person is just too exhausted by the time they crawl into bed.
Start with positively rooted questions, like, “What do you like the most about our sex life?” and “What are your favorite sexual memories with me?”
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Make requests of each other (ahead of time)
Tell me if this sounds familiar: You’re in bed together, and you ask your partner, “What do you want?” Your partner freezes up like a deer in headlights. It’s really hard to answer that question in the moment itself.
See if you can come up with three specific, sex-related requests to make of each other. It could be anything from a position you want to try, to a fantasy you want to experiment with, to a toy you want to purchase, to something you want your partner to do or say.
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Get more creative with initiation
If you’re like most couples, initiating sex with each other is extremely boring. You might try to initiate in “joking” ways, like grabbing her breasts or butt. Or you might say to each other, “I guess it’s been a while…should we do it?”
It’s really difficult to get excited about being intimate with each other when sex is initiated in this way. Instead, resolve to up your initiation game with each other.
Try more creative and passionate ways of initiating, like setting up a romantic scene when she gets home from work.
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Invest in your relationship
Your relationship deserves your time, effort, and resources.
Book a sex therapy or couples therapy session. Go to a weekend workshop. Read a sex or relationships book together.
Even the happiest of couples could benefit from taking extra good care of their relationship.
