Your ex-girlfriends now have an app where they can rate your “dateability.” But don’t worry: It’s not as terrifying as you think.
Back in the day, you’d choose your college professors based on little more than the vibe you got from their last name. Then that whole ratemyprofessors.com thing came along and undergrads everywhere had a platform to review and rate teachers before committing to a grueling semester of unintelligible English or rampant halitosis. Now you can review just about anything online before you use it…
Can you see where this is going?
That’s right—women now have an app that allows them to rate men they’ve dated—or even just hooked up with once or twice.
It’s called Lulu, and it’s becoming the Yelp of bachelors, exposing a new generation of eligible gents to, basically, the same online scrutiny as Chinese takeout.
Even worse, women are actually using it! The app already has millions of users, including one out of every four college-age women.
“The idea was to recreate the girls’ brunch,” says app co-founder and possible black angel of death Alison Schwartz. (Just kidding. Sort of.) “Women come here to share because it feels powerful, exciting, and safe.”
The good news for guys is that if you’ve never heard of Lulu, you can be sure you’re not on it—men must voluntarily sign up by linking their Facebook page to the app. Lulu previously included guys’ names, faces, and ratings without their knowledge; but this year, due to backlash, it changed its policy so you have to consent and share your info to be included.
“So what’s the big deal?” you might ask. “I would never sign up!” Well, with clever promo language like “Girls can see and create reviews of guys who’ve signed up to get discovered by millions of girls” and “Once you sign up, you can watch your Lulu fan club grow,” Lulu has already lured more than a million male moths to its flame.
Here’s how it works: Women aren’t allowed to write just anything they want about a past fling on Lulu (easy to imagine how out of hand that could get). Instead they’re given a “quizlike” multiple choice form to fill out about the guy. Questions are divided into seven categories—manners, look and style, ambition, commitment, humor, kiss, and sex; users then also get to choose applicable “Best of Him” and “Worst of Him” hashtags like #epic smile on the plus side, or #wanderingeye on the minus.
Want to see where you’re rated (or, more diabolically, try to rate yourself)? Sorry, you can’t break into the app by acting like a chick. Lulu’s dedicated task force is on hand full-time to make sure only females can chime in.
“We have women answering our polls constantly,” says Schwartz. “It’s easy, breezy, fun, and frictionless for them.”
Hear that, you #meh #manchild with a #wanderingeye and #sketchycalllog? Easy, breezy fun!
