I’d like to buy my girlfriend some sexy underwear for bed (what she wears now is anything but). Is that a good idea? – Scott R. Casper, WY
IAN KERNER, Ph.D., psychotherapist/sex counselor: In my experience, 75% of men buy lingerie for their partners, and 75% of that lingerie ends up at the bottom of a drawer.
So instead, go shopping together. Splurge on pieces you both like, and make her feel sexy and appreciated. If you play your cards right, she’ll be so excited from shopping you’ll get your own private lingerie show.
If sexy lingerie’s not in her repertoire now, chances are she’ll wear it only on “special occasions” at most.
MOUSHUMI GHOSE, MFT, psychotherapist/sex therapist: If you’d like to change that (and your arousal is important), gently say, “Can I tell you something that really turns me on? Sexy lingerie. Could I buy you some?” Otherwise, don’t be surprised if it stays in the bag forever.
JENA FRIEDMAN, writer/stand-up comic: Part of me wants to say, “Just go for it.” Then again, buying her a “sexy” gift can be a minefield since, with our more sophisticated brains, we tend to read into things.
What if you get the wrong size? Or she thinks you don’t find her lady parts sexy and want to cover them up with a lacy veil? Or some skank tried it on, so your gf gets an STD, thinks you’re cheating, and kills you in the night? So much to consider!
So, if she wears lingerie, go ahead. If not, get her something less loaded, like an Amazon gift card. Then sneak some lingerie into her cart and see what happens!
