“I ran into an old girlfriend last night, and, man, she looked good. Now I’m wondering if I was wrong to break up with her. Should I give it another go?” — Kevin P., Carson City, Nevada
DR. IAN KERNER, Ph.D.,psychotherapist and sex counselor: It’s hard to know if you’re having genuine feelings or just seeing her through rose-tinted, testosterone-hued glasses.
So I’d say give it the masturbation test: The next time you masturbate, instead of using porn, tune in to your memories and fanta- sies about sex with her. After you’ve come, immediately spend 10 minutes really thinking about and remembering the relationship and your history together and visualize yourself being together.
What does your mind—not your penis—tell you?
JENA FRIEDMAN, writer and stand-up comic: First, I’d like to say thanks—for admitting you were wrong to break up with me, Kevin.
And second, yes, I do look great! After you bulldozed over my heart last year, I lost 10 pounds and never gained it back. I’m in a much better place now, because I’m finally over you and in a way healthier relationship— with myself! I have no hard feelings, though—if anything, you helped me discover an inner strength I didn’t know I had.
But enough about me. If you’re insistent on getting back together—really insistent, as you tend to be when you want something you can’t have—I might just acquiesce out of sheer boredom. But if I do, I will remind you every day we’re together that I don’t need you. Are we clear? I don’t need you! Also, can you pick my mom up from the airport?
Still want to try reigniting a match soaked in your ex’s tears, Kevin? Then go for it—but only if your heart’s truly in the right place.
