“Twenty minutes would be extremely quick for most lesbians. I would say sex should take at least an hour, if not a couple of hours. And if I have a languid Saturday afternoon, maybe more.”
That’s not all: Here, some of the best moves to include.
“When you’re in a position that allows it, absolutely do it,” says Goddard. “You want to see the look on her face, whether you’ve got your face between her legs or are doing her against a wall.” Women want to feel seen and want you to connect to them, and eye contact expresses your intention and arousal.
2. Have no-intercourse sex
News flash: Lesbians aren’t just having one to two hours of oral sex. “If you try having sex that doesn’t include intercourse, you’ll learn how to use your hands, how to explore your partner’s body, how to fuck with your hands while stimulating her on the outside, and of course oral sex and toys,” says Goddard. “You’ll learn to really touch your lover; hands are superfacile. You miss a lot when you go straight to intercourse.”
Spend 10 minutes using the flats of your fingers to very lightly tease and stroke around the labia and vulva and up high above the clitoris, where the shaft extends much higher than you can see. Think light tickle. Ask her: “Faster or slower?” “More pressure or less?” Your goal is to bring a lot of blood flow to the area. “Most women love a circular motion,” says Goddard. If it’s working, don’t go harder or faster—just keep doing exactly what you’re doing.
4. Introduce some toys
Goddard recommends the Tantus 11-inch dildo with a long handle. “You can get a lot of leverage with it, and it’s long enough that you can be somewhere else on her body and still be fucking her,” she says. “Use it beforehand to warm her up, and keep it around for when she lasts longer than you do.” It’s also good for spanking, and because it’s silicone, you can put it in boiling water or the dishwasher to sterilize.
Set a timer for 45 minutes, put on music, blindfold her, and explore her body with different kinds of touch, textures, toys, stimulation, and intensity for a couple of minutes at a time. “Ask her to rate each thing you do on a scale of 1-10,” Goddard says. This is how you get the playbook for what she likes. Mix in psychological play as well: “You’re naked on a stage, and I’m ripping off your dress” or “You’re here solely to please me—roll over.” Then switch.
