This story first appeared on our sister site, SHAPE.com.
Couples who have a television in their bedroom have sex twice as often as those with a TV-bereft boudoir, according to a U.K. poll. Why? Thirty seven percent of the bedroom-TV watchers said they scoped pornographic movies together. (Nearly half said they’d had sex while watching TV. Hooray, multitasking!)
The poll wasn’t very scientific. But plenty of sexperts say scoping erotic videos with your significant other is a great way to ignite fresh heat between the sheets. “Watching porn together expands your sexual repertoire, which is the key to having a long-lasting, enjoyable sex life,” says Emily Morse, a doctor of human sexuality and host of the hit podcast Sex with Emily.
Sold? Now for the next steps: bringing it up with your partner, and making it happen. Morse and other experts provide answers:
“Want to Watch Some Porn with Me?” Say that, and you’ll make the whole conversation a lot simpler and less stressful, Morse promises. “It doesn’t have to be a weighty discussion,” she explains. “Sometimes with sex conversations, the simpler, the better.” If your partner balks, just smile and tell her you think it’d be fun. Don’t push her, at least not at first. Let her think it over for a couple days. If she doesn’t bring it back up herself, she’ll probably show more interest when you mention the idea a second time, Morse says.
Find New Videos Together “Some couples start by exploring sites aimed at women or couples until they hit upon genres or actors they feel comfortable watching together,” explains Debra Herbenick, Ph.D., a sex health educator at Indiana University’s Kinsey Institute for Research in Sex, Gender, and Reproduction. Both she and Morse recommend the site Good Vibrations After Dark (not safe for work!). “It’s a well-curated site, so you know exactly what you’re getting yourself into,” Morse says. Also helpful: Start by telling your partner what you’re into, Morse suggests. That will put her at ease to open up about her own interests.
Once the Footage Starts… When the steamy vid starts rolling, a lot of couples can’t help jumping right into sex. “There’s nothing wrong with this strategy,” Morse says. “But it’s fun to also set some ground rules to keep things new and exciting.” She recommends agreeing to wait until the credits role or the scene ends before turning your attention to each other. “Delaying the act will make you both so aroused,” she promises. She also advises cuddling and caressing each other while you watch. Once you’ve got the hang of things, one of you could pleasure the other while the video rolls. Or you could try different rear entry positions so you can both watch while you have sex, Morse adds.
What to Do After Talk about what turned you on the most and what positions you’d like to try (or not try) the next time, Morse suggests. “This will also make it easier in the long run to talk candidly about your sex life, which is really important to maintaining passion and novelty,” she adds.
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