Have you noticed how women are swooning over a pale little vampire named Edward? What’s this young vamp kid got that you don’t, right?
The answer’s simple: Unfulfilled desire (i.e. lust).
Yep. The stuff of summer camp, high school dances, and freshman dormitories. I’m not saying I buy into the whole Twilight frenzy, but I’ve got to admit, Edward is so hot for Bella that his lust for her super-charges every scene, and it’s sexy.
The Twilight series provides women with something they don’t get to experience much of any more. That’s because these days most men are skipping right over the period between the first kiss and the first screw and cutting right to the chase. But I don’t want to fast-forward through all those steamy daydreams and meaningful (albeit cheesy) glances. That’s why I’ve been seeking out an increasingly rare breed of man—guys who take it slow.
Sexy, successful, single, and smart—these are men who could get laid any day of the week if they wanted to. But they don’t. What’s up with that? It’s no religious statement or social hang-up. Believe it or not, some men are upping their game by eschewing hook-ups and putting off having sex in their relationships.
Here’s why it’s hot:
1) Desire is maddening. As much as I love sex, when you refuse me what I want most, it turns me on to no end. Don’t be afraid to make me go a little crazy for you. Think of it as foreplay—the extended version.
2) Make me work for it. I like not being able to get away with murder just because I’m wearing the tiniest mini-skirt ever invented. As one of my male friends explained: “If she isn’t engaging when we’re just sitting on the couch and talking, why would I want her in my bed?” Plus, when you don’t spend the whole night trying to impress me out of my clothes, you can actually put your mind to more important matters—like having a good time, for one.
3) Spin Free. Blue balls, a yearning to “really understand” me, a fruit fly infestation back at the pad —*Sigh*— these are just a few of the half-baked explanations guys have offered me lately as reasons they should be coming up to my place. Okay, so I admit that out of pity and a love of Kafka, I allowed fruit fly boy to crash on my couch. But seriously, even if you’ve got something better up your sleeve than these lame excuses, the young women of America have been subjected to advertising and spin since we were in diapers. Obviously we know a hard sell when we see it, and when it comes to sex and dating, most of us aren’t going to settle for anything less than a spin-free zone.
4) Show Me I’m Special. I want to be treated like a unique and perfect snowflake in a world otherwise covered in black ice and slush. If you’re slipping into bed with a couple women a week, my super stealth female intuition will clue me in. Honestly, I know you’re not really visiting your grandmother again.
5) No Unexpected Visitors. Recently, a friend of mine suggested that a girl he’d slept with might have brought in the bed bugs that are now infesting his apartment. That’s just sad on so many levels. While I’ve never been blamed for an all out infestation, I can attest to how sucky it is to wake up next to a guy and realize by the look on his face that he brought home something last night (umm, me) that he doesn’t exactly want around. Or worse yet, he doesn’t remember what (umm, me again) he did last night. How rude! If you’re not taking sex lightly, you will simply never wake up with a human bed bug at your side.
6) Paging Jack Bauer. A guy who doesn’t lose it every time I do that tongue-in-ear maneuver (and yes, I know the effect it has on you) is the type of guy who really has it together. I’d definitely want him around during a major incident concerning national security (or at least available for another date). Not to mention the swagger it takes to keep it in your pants. “Many people seem to need the low-level confidence boost that comes from easy hook-ups, and for whatever reason, I don’t,” explained one Ivy-League cutie. “I think it requires a considerable amount of narcissism.”
7) The Best Thing in Life. A one-night stand is like a giant bucket of fried chicken. It’s so tasty while you’re scarfing it down, but you know you’ll inevitably end up feeling a bit gross later. Sex isn’t supposed to make you feel like crap afterward. The way one hot, young New York attorney put it: “I understand that dating has game-like components and is subject to min/maxing like most other systems, but that kind of attitude sure cuts the heart right out of what should be the best, most honest thing in life.”
